Thursday, October 16, 2008

I love the fall

"And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world"
Elton John
Let's wrap up last weekend. Saturday was an amazingly perfect Indian summer day in Madison. It really was too warm to call it perfect football weather, but it was damn close to perfect tailgating weather. We did the best we could but we are not perfect tailgaters, in the sense that some of the people tailgating around us had ridiculous set-ups, complete with bars and bar stools, or pop up grills, or full stereo systems cranking the UW marching band. We had the only TV around which led to a very long day and night of watching football, eating lo-cal jello shots and having an exceptional good time. The game? you ask. Didn't actually see a play live, and the Badgers suffered their worst home loss in a decade 48-7 to PSU, but I'm not a fan and the game was merely an excuse to tailgate so I was content.

Quite a few random people have nicely made comments that I look good. They love to ask how much weight I have lost. And I love to answer "quite a bit." They always seem to give that look that says they want the number but I don't like to share that number because it's just a number and there's plenty more where it came from. They also want to know "Do you feel different?" Well of course I feel different I've lost over 100 lbs. But the difference to me is I get around tons better, I'm up for trying anything, and I'm just more comfortable being places and doing things. Volleyball is so much better, Walking distances is so much better, not feeling out of place or worrying about what people think or who I could be offending is much better. Do I feel different inside? No, not really. I feel like I am the same person. I have the same thoughts, I still obsess over food but in a better way, I still get nervous going new places, I still go out of my way to make sure everyone feels included and is having a good time, and I still feel naked without a hat. Am I an inspiration to others? People tell me I am, but I'd rather people were inspired by who I am, than by the mere fact I lost weight. My weight has defined me for so long and how people perceive me, that the mere fact I have lost some of it doesn't seem inspiring to me. If it helps other people who are struggling I'm glad for that, but I also know truly inspiring people overcome struggles not of their own making, and make the world a better place.

Speaking of Volleyball I have played more volleyball in the last week, than I have ever before. I have made the transition indoors and love playing on the hardwood. My knees like the sand better but the rest of me likes the speed of the indoor game. I played 3 times for two hours last week and just love it. No major plans for this weekend. Still nice enough to get outside and walk/jog. The leaves are in amazing color which is good, and they are piling up on my lawn which is not so good. I had a decent minus 4 lbs this week at weight watchers but still not back to the leaving Fitness Ridge number. I bought a bunch of new clothes this week in a size I haven't worn this century. I am looking forward to handicapping the Breeders Cup next weekend. And John McCain has stopped running ads in Wisconsin because he is hopelessly behind here so my TV viewing is slightly better. I'll be glad when they all stop running election ads. Hope all's well wherever you are reading this Peace, Jim


Anonymous said...

You're too hard on yourself. While people point out that your weightloss is inspiring - I believe that it is just the most easily expressed 'thing'. Your love of life; determination; non-judgemental & inclusive nature and your ability to make people believe that they can achieve anything - is what we all find so inspirational. You make us want to try harder -- THAT is what a truely inspiring person does!

Anonymous said...

If I didn't know better I would have put money that I left the first comment about being hard on yourself. Must admit that fall is my favorite time of year, nothing better that blue sky, crisp air, and the sound of a marching band gearing up for a game. You have aways been and will always be a gift to those you touch, no matter what size. What is so inspiring is your ability to share and stretch yourself even when it is uncomfortable, that's what keeps me going. And when I'm not feeling like pushing my self I think of you and crank the boys from buffalo, and off I go.